Down the Keyhole

An Amish farmer was sharing with me some of the funny things his kids said when they were leaning to speak English:

• A visitor to the farm asked a little boy where his dad was. After much thought, the little boy said, "Down the keyhole." What he was really trying to say was that his dad was in the pasture. Kuh (sounds like koo) is the German word for cow. Kee (not the correct spelling--I am spelling phonetically) is the plural form of Kuh. The boy couldn't think of an English word for pasture. The best word he could come up with was "hole" or a place to keep the cows. Hence, kee-hole!
• Another visitor asked one of the boys where the restroom was. The boy replied, "we don't have any of those here. All we ever do is work." He thought the man wanted somewhere to rest....not the toilet.

Although the Amish only go to school until the 8th grade, they are well educated. They speak at least three languages: English, Pennsylvania "Dutch" (which is actually a German dialect), and high German. German is for church and Bible reading. Dutch is the first language they learn, and the one they speak at home or among themselves. They are required to speak English in school--when they start school, they are completely immersed in English. The only day they are allowed to speak Dutch at school is on Fridays. They are taught German in school, too, but only use it for religious purposes. Some Amish also speak Swiss--it just depends where their ancestors immigrated from.